Top Banana

I first heard of Chiquita Bananas through its ubiquitous TV commercial in the '50s starring a Latina singing fruit. Then I heard of a corporation called "United Fruit" for the first time in Phil Ochs' antiwar anthem "I Ain't Marchin' Anymore" as the progenitor of U.S. colonialism in Latin America. Its chairman had another full time job. He was director of the CIA, which overthrew the government of Guatemala on behalf of the U.S. fruit industry. Some years ago, United Fruit became Chiquita, and yesterday Chiquita paid a $25 million fine for doing business with, in the form of bribes, to a terrorist organization in Columbia.

Chiquita's top banana is Carl Lindner, one of the richest men in American and, no need to say, a major bundler of political donations to George W. Bush as are at least 19 others whose companies were fined lesser amounts for trafficking with terrorists. Lindner's home town newspaper, the Cincinnati Enquirer, ripped the peel of Chiquita's operations about 10 years ago, but because the reporter engaged in unscrupulous methods to get the goods, Lindner tried to put the newspaper out of business. He settled for $10 million, making the newspaper, in effect, the silent partner in his bribery of terrorists.

But, see, Lindner thought it was okay because these are right-wing terrorists.

I'd bet a year's worth of cereal toppings that had the Latin lackey Gonzales, a disgrace to everyone south of the border, not been constrained in his perversion of justice by a Democratic Congress, Chiquita might have been able to "split" the difference at a lot less than 25-mill.

Another Day-O, Another Dollar

If you had a banana with breakfast today, as I did, you, too, are likely guilty of aiding terrorists.

I wrote about this last March, how the Chiquita company, formerly the United Fruit company that overthrew Latin America democracies and is now headed by a pal of President Bush, paid protection money to Colombian terrorists.

The company entered into a plea agreement to pay a fine of $25 million. But now it is petitioning a federal court to let them back out of the deal because they claim they were told by the Department of Homeland Security and the Department of Gonzales that maybe their U.S. interests were better served by allowing Chiquita to keep supporting terrorism rather than stop importing bananas.

The argument is being pressed by the company's lawyer, one Eric Holder, a guy whose future seemed unlimited when he was a liberal deputy attorney general under Bill Clinton. Now, with a reactionary Supreme Court unlikely to change soon to afford him a spot, Holder threw his lot in with international thugs to keep Bush cronies in bed with terrorists.

A decision by the judge is expected next Monday.