I've Forgotten More Than I Ever Knew

Having paid about $180 for a second time in the past six and a half years to replace a lost car key and its remote control, I am now resigned to the likelihood that the floaters looming larger around my eyes are actually bats in the belfry.
Here is what it is like, according to this well-circulated Internet "humor."

"I've recently been diagnosed with AAADD...that's Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder!!

This is how it goes...I decide to change the oil in the car.

I start to the garage, and notice the mail on the table. OK, I'm going to work on the car...BUT FIRST I'm going to go through the mail. So, I lay down the car keys on the desk.After discarding the junk mail, I notice the waste can is full.OK, I'll just put the bills on the desk...BUT FIRST I'll take the trash out tothe trash can, but since I'm going to be near the mailbox, I'll address a fewbills...yes, now where is my checkbook? Oops!

There's only one check left. Where did I put those extra checks? Oh, there's my empty cup from last night on the desk! I'm going to look for those checks...BUT FIRST I need to put the cup back in the kitchen.I head for the kitchen, look out the window, notice the flowers need a drink of water, so I put the cup on the counter and...

there's my extra pair of glasses on the kitchen counter! What are they doing here? I'lljust put them away...BUT FIRST, I need to water those flowers.I head for thedoor, and...Aaaaaagh! Someone left the TV remote in the wrong spot! OK, I'll putthe remote away and water the flowers...BUT FIRST, I need those checks...By theend of the day, the oil in the car has not been changed, the bills are still unpaid, the cup is still in the sink, the checkbook still has only one check left, and...I'VE LOST MY CAR KEYS!!!

And, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I'm utterly baffled, because...I know i was busy the entire day!I realize this condition is serious...I need to get help...BUT FIRST,

I think I'll check my e-mail (By the way, my doctor told me that this disease ishighly contagious can be transmitted by e-mail!) So, if you want to avoid AAADD,don't read this e-mail!!! (I should've put that warning at the beginning of themessage, but I got distracted...sorry about that...you see I've not been myselflately.)

What's really sad about this is I don't even have a garage.