When Novak Says You are Finished, You are Finished

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales stinks so badly that even Robert Novak thinks he might bring down the Bush administration. Until that glorious day, Gonzales is soiling himself to the point of slapstick comedy.

In an interview with NBC on Monday, referring to the politically motivated firing of Republican federal prosecutors, Gonzales lied, “I asked for their resignation not for improper reasons.” The documents he says proves his case strongly suggest exactly the opposite is true. He said, “It was not for partisan reasons.”

And you think Bill Clinton was overzealous in parsing words? Folks, it could not have been for partisan reasons because everyone involved in this corruption of justice is a conservative Republican! And the interviewer, Dick Cheney buttboy Pete Williams, was the Pentagon’s chief spokesman in the George H.W. Bush administration.

After denying he knew anything about the firings, e-mails proved that Gonzales, who doesn’t even have the legal skills of a mob lawyer, was in a meeting where it was discussed and he signed off on it.

Sounding now like a mobster himself, President Bush’s legal valet, protested that even though

the White House has already confirmed that there was a conversation with the president, mentioned it to me in a meeting at the Oval Office — in terms of concerns about — about the commitment — to pursue voter fraud cases in — in three jurisdictions around the country. … I don't remember that conversation, but what I'm saying is during the process there may have been other conversations about specifically about the performance of US attorneys. But I wasn't involved in the deliberations as to whether or not a particular United States attorney should or should not be asked to resign.

As Williams moves to the next question, Gonzales throws on the brakes, as most criminals do when they realize they are under oath:

I don't recall being involved. Let me — let me be more — more precise because I know that — with respect to this particular topic, people parse carefully the words that I use.

You have to read the entire transcript to see the humor – and the sheer mental incompetence – of Gonzales saying he was in a meeting where the firings were discussed, and he signed off on them; but just in case he has asked the department’s inspector general to investigate whether he did anything wrong!

Save the expense, Alberto, and get the hell out of Dodge.

You also have to stare open-mouthed at the chutzpah of a top official of the United States Department of Justice, Monica Goodling, announcing her refusal to testify before Congress and her intention to take the Fifth Amendment. All citizens have the right not to testify against themselves, and it is a central component of our precious civil liberties. But I would submit that law enforcement official have no such right to do so and to keep their jobs.

So, Alberto, take this Monica with you when you blow town.