Winkin’, Stinkin’ and Pods

Having established that Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson is Col. Klink’s doppelganger, I am now convinced that Sarah Palin is Sgt. Schultz. Except we knew that Schultz did know the score and was only covering his hide when would proclaim: "I hear nothing, I see nothing, I know nothing!"

The other person that came to mind was Chance, the gardner, the doofus played by Peter Sellers in the 1979 movie, “Being There,” who knows nothing about the world except what he has watched on TV. By a series of happenstances that only life could exceed (the ascendance of Sarah Palin), this slow-witted cliché machine becomes the toast of the power elite for his perceived wisdom.

Sarah Palin, however, is scary. Not because of her politics, particularly, but because of her looks. Yeah. Her looks. Wide-eyed and oblivious to the wreckage of all around her, programmed like a Chatty Cathy and as real as one of those pod people in “Invasion of the Body Snatchers,” her presence anywhere is testament to why John McCain should not be president and why, if he is, he should be surrounded by bubble wrap and propped up like the guy in Weekend at Bernie’s if something should happen to him.

I will accept a lot in a politician, even a pretty smart cookie like Joe Biden who referred, cringeingly, to certain residents of the Balkans as "Bosniaks." But but I will not abide a vice president who winks instead of thinks.

I won’t go into the lies she told during the vice presidential debate because they are too numerous and not really important. We know she is criminally ignorant and terminally dishonest, and so, thankfully, does the nation. Her talking points, as Keith Olbermann pointed out tonight, in a split-screen demonstration, were the same ones used by George Bush during his 1980 campaign. Word for word.

But she outdoes Bushitler in some ways, for instance, enunciating "Never Again!" in response to the mortgage bailout. "Never Again" is a watchword. A watchword among Jews who will never be silent again when bullyboy crackpots start spreading hate and fear. To say what she did, and to later refer to a Holocaust, marginalizes the real one. But what the hell. She knows nothing.

But it is pretty interesting that she refuses to answer questions she doesn’t want to, but isn't that exactly what most people don’t like about – um, Washington politicians?

I read the transcript, and nothing she said was honest, sincere or truthful. Not even "Nice to meet you” to Biden. The only thing she shared with him was the stage.