Friday, January 25, 2008

More Style Invitational

Finally, I am back in the Washington Post Style Invitational (see "Report from Week 746") circle of "losers," the affectionate name given to those ego-driven hacks with no lives who churn out bon mots destined to circulate forever on the Internet.

The results this week were for a contest asking for humorous slogans for countries. Here were my entries, the two "honorable mentions" noted by asterisk. Naturally, all of the following entries were better than the best of the actual winners, but you can be the judge:

Afghanistan – The Ultimate Hideaway
Albania – Tirana Boom-De-Ay
Algeria – We Almost Had Paris.
Azerbaijan – A Pronounced Experience
Bangladesh – Where Ferries Go to Sink
Burma – A Close Shave for Dissidents
Chad – Where Elections Hang in the Balance

* China – Come Visit Your Money!

China – Lead-free by 2033

Djibouti -- Calls R Us
Germany – Everyone is Taken by Us (Especially Poland and Austria)
Iceland – The Real Melting Pot: Where Global Warming Begins.

* Iran – World’s Largest Non-American Theocracy

Korea, North – Still Crazy After All These Years
Kyrgyzstan – Ancstrl Hm f Pt Sjk and Vnn Wht
Morocco – Here’s Looking at You, Qa'id
Morocco -- Where Three Little People Almost Amount to a Hill of Beans.
Niger – Home of Yellowcake and Limericks
Niger – Pronounce It Wrong and We’ll Kill You
Nigeria – Capital of Confidential Proposals
Nigeria – Global Training Center for Taxi-Driving Medical Students
Palestinian Authority – Neither, not Either
Poland – Never Taken for Granted, But Sometimes Taken by Germany and Russia
Saudia Arabia – Give Us A Hand
Saudia Arabia – Hands Off Our Crime Policy
Tajikistan – Gateway to Kyrgyztan
United States – Land of the Free and Home of the Native-American and Other Indigenous Peoples United States -- Where Elections Also Can Last Four Days
Vatican City – By the See
Vietnam – Let Saigon Be Bygone.
Virgin Islands – Last Resort for Suicide Bombers
Zimbabwe – Last in War, Last in Peace and Last in the U.N. Roll Call


Northern Ireland: Where the IRA is now just another investment vehicle.

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